Dad's Log. Dance.

Teaching Older-one to dance.  Only missing Dad's signature robot move.

Dad’s Log. Day 105

Must consider refraining from drinking while guests are over for dinner.

Guest: “Did you know that some women's sexual libido is highest when they reach their 50’s?”

Husband: “What!? That totally sucks! Who wants to have sex with a 50 year old!?”

Wife: “Apparently, not you.”

Dad’s Log. Day 104

Determining type of evening drink that is best suited to unwind once Young-one are asleep, based on likely response related to social stereotypes. 

Wine: “Ooo! Do you read the American classics while you drink your wine?”

Beer: “Oh, do you watch Nascar while you drink your nightly beer?”

Martini: “Do you read the American classics while you’re being an alcoholic?”

Rum and Coke: “You are an alcoholic, seek help.”

Dad’s Log. Day 103

Seem to be taking the brunt of the additional stress.  May have to reevaluate the level of effort now put into household duties.

Wife: “I am overwhelmed by the clutter in this house.”

Husband: “Do you want to talk about how we can fix this.”

Wife: “No, I don’t want to talk about fixing it. I want

talk about what you do wrong.”

Dad’s Log. Day 87

Not able to tend to dish cleaning duties as effectively as during Mat Leave.  Sensing frustration.  

Wife: "You know it only takes one extra minute of time to reduce frustration. Like when the forks are spread all over the place, it would only take one extra minute to put them away properly."
Husband: "Are you trying to tell me that you are going to start putting the dishes away?"
Wife: "No. I am telling you that you suck!"

Dad’s Log. Day 64

Returned to work to provide for family.  The Wife returned to work to support J Crew and Old Navy shareholders.  Still raising and shaping the future of the Young-ones, less 9 hours in the day to do so.  This will present some new challenges.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 63, 1255 hrs

Returned from Christmas vortex. Gained new insight into the word “busy”, an understanding of the challenges of weekend alcoholics, and 3.4 pounds.

Young-one’s tangible assets increased ten fold.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 53, 0945 hrs

Christmas tasks are impacting weekly child and household maintenance schedules.  Scotchguarded Young-ones clothes in order to prolong use between washings and re-wired microwave oven to begin cooking fish sticks in conjunction with entering the house after school, which saves a total of 23 minutes per week.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 52, 1133 hrs

Gave two dollars to homeless fellow in order to educate Young-ones about giving.  Note to self: Never ask for a receipt.  It is not well received.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 51, 1315 hrs

Bank balance taking sever damage due to holidays. Required cost cutting measures, including: extended usage of Little-ones 2 litre container of milk by cutting it with water and a dash of baking soda; and Santa will bring Older-one the abandoned Big Wheel retrieved behind the Bulk Barn dumpster, will rent out to local neighborhood youths when not in use.