Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 53, 0945 hrs

Christmas tasks are impacting weekly child and household maintenance schedules.  Scotchguarded Young-ones clothes in order to prolong use between washings and re-wired microwave oven to begin cooking fish sticks in conjunction with entering the house after school, which saves a total of 23 minutes per week.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 52, 1133 hrs

Gave two dollars to homeless fellow in order to educate Young-ones about giving.  Note to self: Never ask for a receipt.  It is not well received.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 51, 1315 hrs

Bank balance taking sever damage due to holidays. Required cost cutting measures, including: extended usage of Little-ones 2 litre container of milk by cutting it with water and a dash of baking soda; and Santa will bring Older-one the abandoned Big Wheel retrieved behind the Bulk Barn dumpster, will rent out to local neighborhood youths when not in use. 

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 50, 1047 hrs

Discovered the advantages of Older-ones fear of Santa’s “naughty list”. 

Little-one ate Play-doh.  Wondering why Hasbro has to make Play-doh smell so tasty?

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 48, 1350 hrs

Delivered Young-ones to Doctor to obtain anti-flu injections.

Older-one may have developed an ulcer due to stress levels prior to needle.

Little-one still unaware that a needle was received.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 45, 0807 hrs

Contemplating lessons learned while on Mat leave, including: multi-tasking; time management; ability to communicate with others about recipes; increased annoyance to clutter and unwashed dishes; and new potential for enjoying Glee.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 44, 0903 hrs

Older-ones responses to my questions now include “duh!?”, “what the heck?” and “what ev”.

Little-ones communication skills increasing.  Now includes the word “no”.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 43, 0927 hrs

Older-one off to be educated.

Little-one dropped off at new daycare for trial run.  Little-one very excited to interact with others of similar horizontal height.  No apparent distress during Dads departure and while waving goodbye. Not sure how to feel about this. 

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 42, 1541 hrs

Was informed of upcoming concert.  Limited seating, was known about a year in advance, sold out on first day, must line-up outside in cold two hours early to get adequate seating, and will be recorded and photographed by hundreds. Assumed Coldplay or Van Halen.  Was mistaken, it is the Older-ones Christmas Concert???

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 40, 1342 hrs

Procured Christmas tree from u-cut tree lot. Older-one insisted on helping select and cut tree, which delayed departure time by 57 minutes. Little-one was silent on tree vote.

Discovered that Dad tree selection vote does not count since it relates to interior design. Surprisingly, perfect tree was still procured. However, will still retain final decisions related to backyard grass height and winter tire selection.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 39, 1312 hrs

Holiday festive outings and dinner parties began last night.  Partook in too much ‘cheer’ based on size of headache.  Curious - Young-ones seem to be able to sense my state of weakness and are using it to their advantage.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 38, 1257 hrs

After 8 days, the 2 day house project is complete.  Lesson learned: The Little-one will survive even if not being supervised every second of the day.  Although, must remember to keep wood glue out of reach.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 37, 1522 hrs

Based on Martha Stewart’s cookie presentation, the Spiced Cardamon Christmas cookies were an absolute disaster. Concluded that recipes are to only be used as a guide and achieving Martha perfection with Young-ones is near impossible.  Time commitment versus reward not balanced considering needs of Young-one during cooking. 

Second attempt utilizing Pillsbury Cookie mix a resounding success.  Many thanks little white marshmallow-man chef.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 37, 1326 hrs

Fellow Moms at playground appear to have renewed interest in cooking due to upcoming holiday season.  Likely “mom” requirement during December.  Will attempt cooking of Martha Stewart Spiced Cardamon Christmas cookies to increasing household festive spirit.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 35, 1721 hrs

Long day of parenting and shaping the future of the Children.  Older-one seems to be attempting to question my authority.  Reinforcements will be here soon.  Will retire to my bunk to recuperate.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 34, 0852 hrs

Little-one’s good health is returning; however, the virus has infested Dad and morphed into a full fledged man-cold.  Was informed by Wife that Dad can not take a sick day.  Dad was not informed of this during initial mat leave terms and conditions discussion.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 31, 1001 hrs

Little-one currently battling cold virus.

Older-one has been sneaking into Parents bed all week.  Was unexpectedly head-butted three time.  Current emotions due to lack of sleep consists of rage and suppressed rage.  Will have to inform Older-one that child-eating monster actually lives under Parents bed.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 29, 1429 hrs

Attempting household projects.  Confirmed that time to complete project should be multiplied by number of children in household.

Little-one constantly follows and underfoot.  Likely raised by ducks in her early years.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 25, 1029 hrs

Completed annual dental appointment.  Noticed numerous children and infant friendly environment.  Will start to frequent dentist and doctor waiting rooms for makeshift play dates.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 23, 1041 hrs

Older-one complained of sore stomach.  Once staying home from school approved, stomach was miraculously cured.  Older-one currently conducting hard-labour.  Will be returning to be educated within the hour.

Little-one content.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 22, 1301 hrs

Having a hard time finding time to complete chores as mat leave extends.  May have entered a mat leave time-vortex, since this was suppose to be easy.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 19, 1532 hrs

Continuing to pass down words of wisdom to Older-one that was passed down from Father.  Including zip up your coat, be nice to your sister and stop squeezing your penis in public; however, did not include the reinforcing slap to back of head. 

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 19, 1204 hrs

Discovered Costo/Price Club while procuring Little-ones waste management supplies.  Will not require supplies until Little-one turns 18.  Will have to add extension to house to make room for life-size nativity scene.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 17, 1042 hrs

Still raining. Pride in how I look diminishing. Stayed in comfortable clothing most of week.
Surprisingly, yoga pant do make my buttocks look better.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 16, 1113 hrs

Little-one restless.  Went to shopping centre to purchase new child stimulus merchandise.  All child merchandise appears to be for raising a professional mercenary, Einstein or a prostitute.  However, found ‘good deal’ on clothes.  Experienced a strange sense of joyful accomplishment.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 15, 1019 hrs

Older-one off to be educated. Behavior declining. Running out of privileges to remove. May have to resort to hard labor.
Still trying to confirm front versus back of the diaper.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 12, 0901 hrs

Attempts to grown mat leave beard successful.  However, attempt to mimic William Riker unsuccessful, and may appear more as a “creepy predator” based on looks from strangers while walking Little-one.  Consider shaving.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 11, 1320 hrs

Tested theory from Day 10. Increased additional lunch-time school mates to six.  Chaos ensued.  Number of school mates versus ease of child care confirmed as not linear. Most definitely a bell-curve.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 11, 0958 hrs

Wikipedia incorrect.  Coffee likely invented by moms.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 10, 1554 hrs

Laundry complete.  Note to self: Red should be considered ‘darks’.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 10, 1445 hrs

School mate attended lunch with Older-one.  Curious, Older-ones child care easier with additional school mate.  Potential mathematical equation relating number of school mates versus ease of child care.  Likely linear. Will test.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 10, 0922 hrs

Older-ones blood system still appears to be contaminated with sugar.

Little-one has aversion to wool hat and mittens.  Will try fleece.

Was able to meet scheduled departure time by reduced personal shower time from 8.7 minutes to 2.17 minutes.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 9, 1035 hrs

Older-one negotiation skills increasing.  May have been duped.

Little-one faster than she looks.  Enacted child find protocol successfully and no concerns since authorities could not define ‘lost’ due to her eventually being found.

Dad's Log now has its own FaceBook Page

Search Dad's Log in Facebook.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 8, 0924 hrs

Older-one off to be educated. Required trickery due to semi-functioning sugar coma.

Little-one uncharacteristically aggressive.

Additional solid waste management supplies will be required.  Utilizing faster than anticipated.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 7, 0612 hrs

All Saints’ Day eve festivities exceeded recommend time limit.  Older-one and Little-one sleep patterns unchanged.  May have to extend Sunday morning television program time limits to recuperate.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 6, 0940 hrs

Opened the Older-one’s bedroom door for the first time since mat leave began.  May have been ransacked by criminals looking for lego, action figures and books.  Found missing boot, spatula and cat. Will have to schedule for clean-up.  Personal time reduction: 22.6% 

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 5, 1432 hrs

After 3.18 hours, remembered that chicken breast was still in the oven.  Appear to be losing my short-term memory.  Resorting to lists.  However, can recall the names of all the Wiggles.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 5, 1123 hrs

Completed first trip to shopping centre to procure halloween accessories.  Discovered this to be a place where all mom’s and little-ones congregate during the day.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 5, 0941 hrs

Older-ones excitement level has increases this AM.

Little-one remains the same.

Identified 7 alternative uses for sandwich bags this week that do not including maintaining sandwich freshness.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 4, 1604 hrs

Went to grocery store to procure supplies. Significant problems navigating stroller.  Stroller appears to have been constructed for a 300 pound baby taking part in a five-day over-night excursion.  May require smaller stroller.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 4, 1001 hrs

Noticed my willpower to Little-one crying for treats is diminished in public places.

Dirty clothing is accumulating at an increasingly alarming rate.  Appears to be exponential, this is cause for concern. May have to test washing machine capacity earlier than expected. 

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 3, 1350 hrs

Little-one still trying to communicate.  Continues to refer to me as Mommy.  Success at interpreting some key words: oop = up; hep = help; moo = more; and poo-poo is not a warning of things to come...it is a statement of what just occurred. 

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 3, 0944 hrs

Up early today.  Meet scheduled sustenance, hygiene and departure times with little resistance.  Currently reading washing machine manual to the Little-one.  Will test washer maximum capacity limits over the next week.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 2, 1407 hrs

Investigated odd smell in house.  Cause: Me.  No time for personal hygiene.  Must remember to take shower and brush teeth.  Note to self: Will have to get up earlier.  

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 2, 0903 hrs

Older-one is off to be educated.  Does not seem to have the same sense of urgency as I do.  Note to self: Will have to get up earlier.

Little-one still functioning and undamaged.

Was volunteered to bring food to school affair. Note to self: Stay away from the moms on the playground...too much follow-up work.

Dad's Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 1, 16:02 hrs

Curious.  Bed did not make itself today.  Will give it one more day before I investigate.

Older-one returned from being educated.  Little-one is awake from nap.  Currently outnumbered.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 1, 1323 hrs.

Older-one still has hearing problems and may be allergic to vegetables.  Did enjoy meatish substance wrapped in bread.

Little-one has gone insane.  Will rethink providing candy before noon. 

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 1, 0940 hrs.

Older-one is off to be educated.  Does not seem to hear my directions.  May have a hearing problem.  Will have to investigate further.  

Little-one has mucus management issues.  Appears to be trying to communicate.  Responds well to candy.