Dad’s Log. Day 87

Not able to tend to dish cleaning duties as effectively as during Mat Leave.  Sensing frustration.  

Wife: "You know it only takes one extra minute of time to reduce frustration. Like when the forks are spread all over the place, it would only take one extra minute to put them away properly."
Husband: "Are you trying to tell me that you are going to start putting the dishes away?"
Wife: "No. I am telling you that you suck!"

Dad’s Log. Day 64

Returned to work to provide for family.  The Wife returned to work to support J Crew and Old Navy shareholders.  Still raising and shaping the future of the Young-ones, less 9 hours in the day to do so.  This will present some new challenges.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 63, 1255 hrs

Returned from Christmas vortex. Gained new insight into the word “busy”, an understanding of the challenges of weekend alcoholics, and 3.4 pounds.

Young-one’s tangible assets increased ten fold.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 53, 0945 hrs

Christmas tasks are impacting weekly child and household maintenance schedules.  Scotchguarded Young-ones clothes in order to prolong use between washings and re-wired microwave oven to begin cooking fish sticks in conjunction with entering the house after school, which saves a total of 23 minutes per week.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 52, 1133 hrs

Gave two dollars to homeless fellow in order to educate Young-ones about giving.  Note to self: Never ask for a receipt.  It is not well received.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 51, 1315 hrs

Bank balance taking sever damage due to holidays. Required cost cutting measures, including: extended usage of Little-ones 2 litre container of milk by cutting it with water and a dash of baking soda; and Santa will bring Older-one the abandoned Big Wheel retrieved behind the Bulk Barn dumpster, will rent out to local neighborhood youths when not in use. 

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 50, 1047 hrs

Discovered the advantages of Older-ones fear of Santa’s “naughty list”. 

Little-one ate Play-doh.  Wondering why Hasbro has to make Play-doh smell so tasty?

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 48, 1350 hrs

Delivered Young-ones to Doctor to obtain anti-flu injections.

Older-one may have developed an ulcer due to stress levels prior to needle.

Little-one still unaware that a needle was received.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 45, 0807 hrs

Contemplating lessons learned while on Mat leave, including: multi-tasking; time management; ability to communicate with others about recipes; increased annoyance to clutter and unwashed dishes; and new potential for enjoying Glee.

Dad’s Log. Mat Leave Date: Day 44, 0903 hrs

Older-ones responses to my questions now include “duh!?”, “what the heck?” and “what ev”.

Little-ones communication skills increasing.  Now includes the word “no”.